


The View from My Window

by gotsichi7



Series: not so drabble [5]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Jackson-centric, M/M, Super Angst, angsty jackbum was the request, broken!jackbum, but with jackson wang narrating it, i sort of cried while writing this, jackbum - Freeform, more like the pain i felt post relationship, so angsty jackbum it is, so most of it i don't know what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:18:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotsichi7/pseuds/gotsichi7
Summary: Jackson finds himself thinking about why Jaebum decided to leave him





	

**Author's Note:**

> prompt:
> 
> once and awhile, i remember how things used to be, 
> 
> Closing my eyes reminded me you were no longer there, 
> 
> You were at the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was right for me

Once and awhile, Jackson remembers how things used to be.

He remembers how bright the sunrise was in their shared apartment. The curtains far too thin to filter sunlight and Jackson often found himself awake looking into the sky. He remembered how soft the sheets were and how comforting it felt in the winter and also how hot he got in the summer. He remembered the smell of Jaebum wrapping around him as he falls into his slumber.

He remembers watching Jaebum get ready for work and kissing him goodbye before he leaves. He remembers the feeling of having Jaebum pull him into a kiss roughly as if he was impatient and the way Jaebum made him feel like he was all he wanted.

He remembered how all those fleeting moments made him feel. His knees losing its strength, his heart making flips and his breathing uneven. He remembers the emotions that course through his body and when he remembers those moments he could feel it again. The image of Jaebum smiling at him with his loving stare that was burned into the back of his head permanently.

Jackson shifts in his bed. It’s a single bed unlike the queen bed he was used to share with Jaebum. The sheets were cheap and sometimes it made his skin itch. But it was all Jackson had and he couldn’t complain. Closing his eyes to catch his much needed sleep, only reminded him that Jaebum was no longer beside him. Jaebum was no longer pulling him into cuddles in cold nights or pushing him aside when the warmth was unbearable in summer nights. Jaebum simply wasn’t there.

_Things aren’t the same as they used to be and I just wonder if I still feel the same, Jackson-ah._

Jackson jerks awake; cold sweat covering his body. His pillow and comforter somewhere on the floor. The whole room was dark and Jackson isn’t quite sure if it was because of the lack of sun in this hour or the lack of windows in his room. The room had no view, unlike the one in his old apartment. The sunlight didn’t wake him and the darkness was the only thing that greeted him whether night or day.

Jackson reached for his phone, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the bright light. It was 3am meaning it was still dark outside. He frowned at the lock screen he had chosen for himself. It was an old picture of Jaebum. Jaebum sitting in their living room on the couch with his Bart pyjamas and a goofy smile.

He was pathetic and he should probably change it. He should probably delete all pictures of Jaebum in his phone. It had been months and he still spent his alone time staring at those pictures, holding in his tears. He had probably ran out of tears. It was probably impossible for him to cry anymore.

But he still did.

He opened his Kakaotalk conversation with Jaebum and scrolls past the Goodnight messages that Jaebum had ignored. He finds the last part of the conversation that he had had with Jaebum and starts reading it. It’s stupid. He knows it.

But it was the only connection he had to Jaebum. Jaebum had decided to delete all his social media accounts when they broke up. So Jackson was deprived of any knowledge of how Jaebum was doing. Was he ok? Was he crying like Jackson was? Or was he happy now that he had gotten rid of him?

_Maybe in a different time, at a different place, we could try this again._

>               _But why not right now?_

_I’m sorry Jackson. I can’t love you the way I used to. Forgive me._

Was it because Jackson was too demanding of Jaebum’s presence? Was it because Jaebum hadn’t loved him from the start? Was Jackson a mere idiot?

Why did Jaebum just leave him when everything seemed so perfect? When did Jaebum fall out of love with him and why hadn’t he noticed it? Jaebum said it was the wrong time for him. he wasn’t ready to marry, he said he wasn’t ready to commit.

He said that there was no way gay marriages would ever be accepted in Korea and a big part of him doesn’t want to fight for it. A big part of Jaebum just wanted to fall into normality and blend into the crowd.

And Jackson made him stand out way too much.

_In the future it would be possible right Jaebum?_

> _We are in the wrong place and wrong time, Jackson-ah._

A single tear rolls down his cheek and wets the side of his pillow. It was the wrong time and place for Jaebum but it was right for him.

**Author's Note:**

> i am sorry that i did this to jackson.... you can hate me in the comments. or talk to me on tumblr/twitter @gotsichi7


End file.
